Whether it’s a car accident, a medical emergency, a natural disaster, or even getting lost in a store—what feels manageable to an adult can feel overwhelming to a child. These types of experiences can shake their sense of safety and stability. Even after the event has passed, their nervous system may still be in a heightened state. As a caregiver, your calm presence is one of the most healing tools you can offer.

At Firefly Counseling & Consulting, we support families navigating these moments and rebuilding safety step by step. If your child has gone through something distressing, here are ways you can begin helping them feel secure again.

Rebuild Safety Through Comfort and Routine

Your first goal is to remind your child, in both words and actions, that they are safe now. Speak in a calm, steady voice and use simple, reassuring language. Offer physical comfort, like hugs or sitting nearby, if your child is open to it.

Incorporating routine is also key. Familiarity helps the brain relax, so returning to predictable daily rhythms—bedtime stories, favorite meals, or morning routines—can restore a sense of normalcy.

Give Them Words for Big Feelings

Many children, especially younger ones, don’t have the language to explain what they felt. You can support them by gently naming what they might be experiencing:

• “That was really scary, wasn’t it?”

• “It makes sense your heart was beating fast—your body thought it needed to protect you.”

• “It’s okay to feel worried, even though it’s over. I’m here with you.”

These simple phrases validate your child’s emotions while also helping them process what happened.

Let the Conversation Unfold Naturally

You don’t need to force your child to talk about what happened. Many children process events slowly and may bring them up in pieces during quiet moments like bedtime or while playing. When they do talk, try to stay open and curious. Some good prompts include:

• “What part felt the scariest?”

• “What helped you feel better?”

Let your child take the lead. Your job is to listen and stay present, not to rush them toward a resolution.

Know When to Get Extra Support

Most children will return to their usual selves within a few days or weeks. But sometimes, signs of distress can linger. Watch for ongoing changes such as:

• Trouble sleeping or frequent nightmares

• Increased irritability or emotional outbursts

• Avoidance of certain places or people

• Repetitive play that reenacts the event

• Physical symptoms like stomachaches or headaches

If these persist or worsen, it may be time to talk to a therapist.

How Therapy Can Help

A trauma-informed therapist can offer a safe, gentle space for your child to process their emotions and regain a sense of control. Therapy might include play-based techniques, coping tools, and supportive guidance tailored to your child’s needs.

At Firefly Counseling & Consulting, we specialize in helping children and families navigate tough experiences with warmth and expertise. We’re here to walk with you through the healing process.

Take Care of Yourself, Too

When your child has been through something scary, it’s easy to put your own feelings on the back burner. But your nervous system plays a big role in helping your child feel safe again. If you’re overwhelmed, exhausted, or anxious, it’s okay to acknowledge that—and to take steps to care for yourself.

Some simple ways to support your own well-being:

• Talk to a friend or therapist about your experience

• Take breaks when you can, even if brief

• Breathe slowly and deeply during high-stress moments

• Remind yourself: You don’t have to have all the answers to be a good parent

Remember, modeling emotional regulation and self-care teaches your child it’s okay to ask for help—and that healing happens best when we do it together.

Final Thoughts

Resilience doesn’t mean “bouncing back” instantly—it means healing with the right support. By showing up consistently with patience and compassion, you’re already giving your child one of the most important tools they’ll ever have: the ability to feel safe again.